Trumpet the crumpet
it deserves fans and fanfares
like it or lump it
with marmite to comfort you, in your cares
from tarts through to strumpets
no one would dare
pilfer my crumpet
they're too good to share
If Iron Mike took my crumpet
Though I may lose my life there
I'd just have to thump it
If you're holding my crumpet
Son, you are going no where.
Trumpet the crumpet
Warburtons' best
till the butter runs down
my chin to my chest
and till my tummy
silently swells under my vest
the golden crumpet of comfort
has got me, in handcuffs
and under arrest
I'm slave to the crumpet,
I'm at it's behest
I'll take the crumpets
And you keep the rest.
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