Cup of Contradiction

They might mistake me,

For a football thug,

But I'm drinking herbal tea,

From this Hotspur mug,

They might mistake me,

for a girly boy,

But I'm using vipers blood,

To stir fry Pak Choi,

They might mistake me,

For a hardened biker,

But my beard is trimmed  and groomed,

Like Captain Riker,

I'm looking angry,

But I need a hug,

I'm drinking herbal tea,

From my Hotspur mug,

I'm wearing pink bow ribbons,

In my fat dreadlocks,

I'm wearing steel toe caps,

With my bobby socks,

I'm wearing a muscle vest 

Declaring anarchy,

But my favourite thing,

Is a herbal tea,

I'm dangerous, I tell you,

I'm a bit crazy, me.

I sometimes cheat,

At monopoly,

I'm cutting lose, 

And I don't know what for,

But I would never, EVER,

Break the law.

I'm looking angry,

But I want a hug,

I'm drinking herbal tea,

From my Tottenham mug,

You better watch out,

Cos I'm on drugs,

I'm drinking cold Lemsip,

From my Hotspur mug

I'm unpredictable,

I'm anomaly,

First name: Tyson

Middle name: Emily

I'm an enigma, a delight,

Yeah and an anathema,

I start every day,

With an Elderflower enema,

I'm looking vulnerable

But I don't need a hug,

I'm drinking Jack Daniels

From a Tommy Tippee cup,

Just kidding,

I don't care, I'll stand and shrug.

I'm drinking herbal tea,

From my hotspur mug.