In Heaven

 In heaven I wonder, what will I be?

And will I still be recognizably me,

Maybe my tummy will still be round,

But I'm sure my trousers won't keep falling down,

Like they do down here on earth,

Because of and not in spite of my bulk and my girth,

When I was a child, all skinny and such,

My trousers fell down, to my knees from my crotch

Because they had nothing on which to grip,

No waist to speak of

So they'd slip past my hip...

And the belt had never been found

That would keep my trousers from finding the ground.

My worst foe, yes my hated enemy,

Was the evil force they call gravity,

And then I got old and fat,

And the trousers slid down, whether I stood or I sat,

In Church one day my niece and son laughed a lot, 

When I stood up to pray, but my trousers did not,

It's hard to bring supplication,

With your pants on display to the whole congregation,

And though I'm sure the saviour won't mind,

Some of the saved may not be so kind

So I have special reason to long now for heaven,

Where trousers stay up, however you're dressin',

And I shan't mind if I'm fat or I'm slim,

As long as I can give glory to him,

And if my tummy is still round,

At least my trousers will no longer fall down