If Christmas wasn't about Jesus

If Christmas wasn't about Jesus,
You could shove it up your ****,
If not about the virgin birth,
The whole things a bloody farce

They say its about the family,
About keeping it together,
But the love and warmth in our house,
Is as warm as the bloody Weather,

It only goes to highlight,
It only goes to show.
That if the son of God were to come this year,
He'd soon turn round and go.

And if it were not about the simple things
Like peace, love and  good will,
I should take this thing called Christmas,
And send you all the bill,

For all the disappointment,
For all the flaming rows,
I'll tot it up, now you owe me,
At least a million pounds.

If Christmas weren't about Jesus,
You could stick it where it's dark,
For the memories of passed on loved ones,
That all shout out 'hark',

Forget about the angels,
They have had their turn,
If it wasn't about baby Jesus,
I'd watch the whole lot burn,

I'd burn the high street Christmas lights,
I'd burn all the unrequited cards
I'd burn all the expensive presents
That were opened to discard,

I'd burn the flaming turkey,
If it wasn't already burnt,
Id burn the after dinner games,
You'd have thought they might have learnt,

Psychopaths in Xmas hats,
Acting out Godzilla,
My interest is the facial equivalent,
Of cheap and nasty stocking filler,

I've had enough of pressure,
from the kids and from TV
I have to have an Xbox, Dad,
I really need a Wii,

When Jesus came at Christmas,
Did he say now here's good news,
This is going to cost you,
Right down to your shoes,

I came to bring the poor good news,
And to set the debtor free,
And the bad news is, why spoil the surprise,
You'll see in January,

But when I think, of the son of God,
lying soft asleep,
And think that he came for us ungrateful lot,
it makes me want to weep,

I could get to like Christmas,
If I thought about that more,
Instead of all the fake smiling,
That's bought an ache into my jaw,

If Christmas wasn't about Jesus,
You could stick it where the sun don't shine,
And you could stick this poem there as well,
No one wants to hear me whine.